On starting.

I just got off the phone with Rich, and I got a lot from that conversation, but here are the headlines:

Doom scrolling

I want to take an hour, or a half hour, for me in the mornings, but I keep going back to my vape and my phone.

I've tried cutting down, and some days it's worked, but others, no.

What I saw from that is familiarity and comfort. And I want to sit on the balcony, but it's void of that level of familiarity, so I don't choose it. It shines a light on both the need to seek out some of the things that genuinely are familiar and comfortable, and also discovering new traditions, feelings and experiences, embracing them to create an entirely (new) level of, or standard for, for lack of a better phrase, comfort.

My website

Rich told me tonight to just start with something like, "Hi, my name is Aleisha, and I've just moved to Thailand..." My mate told me... and it reminds me of how I wrote that 72-page book when I was 14, and I started it like that. He's encouraging me to do it.

And I think I realize the wall I keep running into with a lot more clarity than I've had before. I keep getting stuck on the outside. What's the strategy? What are other people going to think? How can I plan a social media account around this? Will my photography course support it somehow? What about the Camino de Santiago? And when am I going to do that and write as I go?

And the problem is, I don't write from the outside. Outside, by the way. Outside.

What's really important is that I do it. Rich said when I do the thing, I'll be able to release the weight of wanting to do something but still not having done it yet.

I never thought about that weight before. I never liked that. The weight you carry when you stop yourself from doing something you know you want to do. And I wonder how much of that weight I've been carrying. How long I've been carrying it. Does anybody think about it like that?

Mine de rien, good reason to start.